Ring True
by pretty in orange
Summary: With Shunsui, her fiance, in a coma, Nanao takes a hard look at her life between visits to the fourth and hours of lonely paperwork. Shunnao, T for serious themes, some language and some mild sexual implications. On temporary hiatus.
1. One Sided Conversations

A/N: (Heavy, very heavy sigh.) I had to rewrite this, because the handwritten one was clunky and I didn't like how Nanao came off. That's what happens when I write past midnight and am half asleep, apparently. Anyway, here's Ring True.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, nor do I make any money off of this.

* * *

"You said you'd be by my side forever." Nanao's voice was soft in the room of the medic division. "I had to know that wasn't true. But I don't want you to go any time soon. And I don't know how much of this I can take."

Shunsui lay comatose on the hospital bed, his breaths even, but his eyes never opening. No one had told Nanao exactly what happened, and to be completely honest, she didn't really want to know. Captain Unohana had said he had a concussion, and that he had fallen asleep, and he just wasn't waking up. She said that it happened sometimes, but Nanao couldn't find it in her heart to accept it. She just wanted Shunsui to wake up. She'd give her right arm to have him awake.

"You need to wake up." Nanao sighed, her voice a little stronger and a little shakier at the same time. "If you don't wake up soon, I'm never going to let you drink again. And I'll make sure you actually do your paperwork for the rest of your life." She ran her fingers through her hair that had been let loose nearly an hour ago. Her head had started to ache and she had taken the pins out in hopes that it would help.

"Keep talking to him." Isane stepped into the room, checking the machines that harbored stats and vitals. "It can help comatose patients wake up." When Nanao didn't say anything, she wrote the vitals and stats down and exited the room.

"I always knew you were a good man." Nanao continued, softer now. "But good men don't leave their teammates to do all the work." She paused and slowly added, "Or at least to do all the work without keeping them company." That's what Shunsui had been good at all those years. She had rarely been left alone with any paperwork unless emergencies called.

The monitors beeped their steady beep, making Nanao inhale deeply. She wasn't about to cry, she wouldn't let herself do that here and now. But she wanted to, and she probably would when she got home. The thought of going home without Shunsui made her eyes burn with tears even more, but she stomped them down.

"You don't want to stay here." Nanao breathed in again, realizing that focusing on her breathing helped quell the tears. "You want to come home with me, like we've done every day for the past nine months."

Nanao's ring caught the light.

"You want to be awake before this spring, don't you?" Nanao continued, touching her ring for reassurance. "We finally have our wedding all planned out, and that's not something you can miss." In an attempt to stop fidgeting, She folded her hands in her lap.

Her stomach turned at the sight of Shunsui in that bed, with wires hooked up to his chest and an IV in each arm. In all the years she had known him, it had never been this bad. Lisa had even told her as a child, "Captain Kyoraku rarely exited a battle with more than minor flesh wounds".

"You will wake up." Nanao tried to keep her voice even. "If I have to do my paperwork here, eat here, and sleep here, you will wake up. Don't doubt me."

Shunsui, or the monitors, didn't respond.

But in the back of her heart, and the front of her brain, Nanao knew her fiancé would never doubt her.

* * *

A/N: This is so different from the handwritten one. It's not quite so disturbingly sad in my opinion, and there's less ranting dialogue. But what did you think?


	2. Memories

A/N: I'm hoping to update this sooner rather than later in most cases, but weather is not cooperating. Mother Nature is not my friggin' friend these days. Still, I'm trying to print off all my work so I can write by hand if it becomes completely necessary. Anyway ~ on with it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, I don't make any profit from this, and if I owned Bleach, don't you think I'd have less time to do this? See, I don't own Bleach.

* * *

Nanao sat at Shunsui's bedside again the next night, this time with a stack of paperwork. She had gone home long enough to shower and change, but sleep had eluded her without Shunsui beside her. Though visiting hours were long gone at one in the morning, the current time, Isane and Unohana had let Nanao have a special pass considering the circumstances.

Nanao tried to focus her eyes on the words of the paperwork, but memories kept getting in the way. Gods, she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She didn't have her fiancé around to keep her company, he just laid there and the only thing comforting about that were his heart monitor beeping and his steady inhales and exhales.

Finally, stretching across the window seat where Isane had made a bed for her "Just in case" She let sleep take her away.

* * *

_So nervous. Every fiber of her being filled with jangling, dancing nerves. So, so nervous. Nanao couldn't ever remember being so nervous ever in her life._

_But Shunsui took it all away. He was loving and caring, gentle and careful. He was everything Nanao had hoped her first time would be, and it was perfect._

_Afterwards, Nanao cuddled up to him, closing her eyes. She felt so at peace, so happy. She felt safe here, lying naked next to her boyfriend. There was comfortable silence as they lay together._

_Nanao had no doubts. She loved Shunsui Kyoraku more than any other little crush she had ever had. No heartbreaking crush could ever live up to the feelings that she had for this man._

* * *

"Lieutenant?" Hanataro Yamada leaned over Nanao, startling her awake. "Lieutenant, that paperwork is marked for today..." Nanao bolted upright, and dashed for the paperwork. The stack was a fat two inches thick, and at best she could have it done in a few hours. She got to work, despite that she was exhausted, despite that her dreams were haunting her, despite that she felt like crying from the situation. She was Nanao Ise. The paperwork would be done if she had to fill the pen with her own blood.

People came in and laid flowers, cards, weighted balloons all over the room. At first, no one paused to speak to Nanao. Juushiro came into the room, finally, and put a vase of flowers on the nightstand. "Are you alright, Nanao?" The older man asked, his black eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"I'm fine." Nanao said evenly, not even acknowledging that Juushiro was a captain. She felt bad, but she was left with three papers out of the stack, and if she could just finish those she'd be done for a while.

"You don't look fine." Juushiro sat beside her, careful not to touch the paperwork. Nanao could be a bit obsessive when it came to her paperwork, and he knew that well. "I know it's hard for you. But he will wake up. Even though he can be lazy, a heavy drinker, and can avoid things; he's a good man. He wouldn't leave his fiancé alone, without anyone who loves her the way he does."

Nanao did look at him then. Captain Ukitake wasn't one to lie, he only spoke the truth and tried to make people feel better with it. Still, with Shunsui lying in the bed, never waking, she couldn't help but feel insecure. "You think he'll wake up soon?" She asked, ignoring the slight pain in her chest. God, it hurt to be hopeful.

"I just mean when he's able, he'll wake up." Ukitake gave her a small smile. "He's not one to leave those he cares about alone for so long."

Nanao risked a glance at the ever-still Shunsui Kyoraku, and then returned to her paperwork. "Yes. I hope so."

"Have some faith in him." Juushiro had turned serious very suddenly. "He did get like this by trying to protect you."

Nanao's head shot up and suddenly she had a very big pain in her chest. A pain that made it hard to breathe or think, even to see. "Excuse me?" She asked, looking at her lover's best friend.

"Do you want to know?" Juushiro's eyes had gone somber. Nanao nodded. "Well..."

* * *

A/N: And that is where we end for the night. I may not be on for a while, seeing as the weather is against me lately. If I'm not on for a few days though, I should have some work done by hand to type up. Anyway, what did you guys and girls think?


	3. The Truth

A/N: I never really gave a for sure time slot for this story, but this should give you an idea, however vague. And no, I did not skip a chapter. I just wanted to do this differently than I usually do. Trust me, ok?

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit from this.

* * *

Nanao shut the door to her and Shunsui's home and crumpled to the floor against the hallway wall. Maybe if she was good at something other than kido and didn't need him to defend her, he'd be fine. Then again, he'd probably have wanted to defend her regardless of if she needed it or not. She should've been there. Maybe if she had said to hell with the paperwork for once, just that once, he wouldn't be comatose. Maybe if she had ignored him and sent more people on the mission-

_No. Stop it, Nanao._ She told herself, wiping her steamed up glasses on her shihakusho. _You'll make yourself sick with what ifs. You can't do that to yourself. It'll be fine, and you getting yourself all worked up isn't going to make anything better. It's just going to make you feel worse. So stop it. Just stop it._

Captain Ukitake's words dripped into her brain, and she tried to force them away, but they had more power than she did.

* * *

_"He was battling a few arrancar." Ukitake sighed as the monitors beeped in the background. Nanao nodded, wishing she wasn't holding the paperwork so she could hide her shaking hands. She felt so pathetic. "And they were ganging up on him. And he was doing alright, until they said they were going after his lover next, and they were going to beat him just enough that he would have to watch them kill you." Ukitake shook his head. "It was a low blow. And he couldn't help it, and he got angry. You know how that is, don't you?" He waited for Nanao's nod. "When you get angry you can't think clearly. So he missed the spiritual pressure coming up behind him, and they hit him. I guess he was able to dodge a little, because instead he got hit with the hilt of the sword. He acted like he was fine... but he passed out on the way back, after we had taken care of everything and ended up here."_

_Nanao uncapped her pen, trying to focus on her paperwork. Guilt closed in on her, like being sealed in a Ziploc bag full of guilt and no air._

_"I have to go home." Nanao stood up, tucking the paperwork under her arm. "You'll stay with him a while, won't you?"_

_"Of course." Ukitake seemed to understand her need to be alone, and he gave her a small smile. "I'll wait here with him until you get back."_

* * *

Nanao shuddered, looking at the paperwork that had fell and scattered in the front hall. She was in hell, she was sure. Every memory she had of doing paperwork, Shunsui was there. Shunsui, offering her a drink. Shunsui, teasing her about being too much work and not enough play. Shunsui, putting his feet up on his desk. Shunsui, hovering over her, stealing her hairpins. And here she was, with a pile of papers, sitting in the hall, trying hard not to cry. She hated herself for it, and she was angry with him for it. Didn't he know how to keep his emotions out of battle by now? How old was he anyway? Then again, she would've gotten mad too if someone had said they were going to kill Shunsui and make her watch.

_"Come on, Nanao. No one's watching. Let it out." _Shunsui's words from so long ago, when she was a new lieutenant and was frustrated with the paperwork, but refused to cry or scream or even complain.

Nanao drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. Letting her breaths quiver, her glasses steamed up again as she let the first few tears fall.

She could look tough for everyone else, but alone in their house, she found herself crumbling. Letting one sob out let a stream of them out, and soon she was a mess, crying all by herself in the beautiful house. The house she had picked out with Shunsui himself. The house that they had fixed up together.

She hated herself more than anything else at the moment, if only for letting herself cry.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was hard to write. I don't like getting upset when I'm writing, but this was so hard not to. I mean, I cried my way through two chapters of Hands Of The Clock (Which I don't do frequently, just so you know) but this was just... heartbreaking to write. I'm quite empathic with my characters. Anyway, what did you think?


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